by Brian Sullivan, ICT Manager

Last week, I attended the AAS Parent Coffee during which a group of brave 6th graders led a fascinating online safety presentation. These students are active social media users and have already seen some of the worst types of media and behavior online, primarily on Snapchat. I left with two particularly notable takeaways. One was the sheer number of unwanted connection requests students receive from complete strangers, including unsolicited graphic and explicit photos. Another was the students’ earnest desire for their parents to talk with them about what they experience online, and to set reasonable limits on their use. 

One quote really stuck with me: “We may roll our eyes and act annoyed, but we want your help to stay safe.” Multiple students echoed this sentiment. While the students’ examples were sobering and even scary, I’m encouraged that our students want parents to be aware of their online life and willing to talk about the dangers. The single most important step we can take to keep our children safe is to actively participate and stay informed.

Delay the Phone?

Child development experts urge waiting to give your child a smartphone until after elementary school to protect their emotional well-being and social development. We recently surveyed grade 5 students and were pleased to discover that almost half of them do not have smartphones. We would like to see that number even higher. If your child is saying that “everybody else has one!”, it may not be the case. 

Young students often have trouble self-regulating their device use and they’re more susceptible to manipulation by apps and other users. Social media platforms are not designed to protect them. In fact, all major social media platforms require users to be a minimum of 13 years old. And yet, in Sofia, Snapchat is the most popular platform among 9 to 13 year olds. Most kids treat it simply as their main texting tool to stay in touch with classmates. But they don't need Snapchat for that; there are far safer messaging apps available that offer the same connection without the safety risks. Instead, our kids are using one of the least safe social media platforms. 

Coming to Agreement

If your child is in middle school or older, you may have decided the time is right for a smartphone. If so, take advantage of the substantial leverage you have in determining how the phone will be used before you provide or allow it. This is the time to create an agreement that outlines your expectations of how the phone will and won’t be used. It’s nearly impossible to put the genie back in the bottle later, so work through your concerns with your child now. Be clear that your priorities are their safety and wellbeing. Give them a chance to explain what’s important to them and incorporate their points. Revisit the agreement each year. As your child gets older, adjust limitations to keep them age-appropriate. I’m including links to a few sample agreements below for ideas. 

Lastly, be sure to take advantage of built-in parental controls on both Android and iOS phones. They aren’t perfect, but they will help limit maximum screentime, late-night use, installed apps, content filtering, etc.

Resources:

https://www.centerforonlinesafety.com/blog/technology-contracts

https://bffyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/03/Smartphone-Contract.pdf

https://www.commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/featured-content/files/common_sense_family_media_agreement.pdf